CLOSE UP: Mary Beth Chapman Print
Written by Chris Johnson   
Wednesday, 18 August 2010 10:04 AM America/New_York

MaryBethChapmanLatest project: Choosing to See: A Journey of Struggle and Hope (Revell/Baker Publishing Group), with Ellen Vaughn.

Where did the title of your book come from? As most people know in the Christian music industry, in 2008 my husband and I lost our youngest daughter (Maria) in an accident involving our youngest son (Will Franklin). That obviously was a horrific time in our life. … There’s really deep places of hurt and disappointment and wrestling with God where the whole idea of “choosing to see” came out.

When we lost our little girl, she left some art on the art table, and my husband and two boys and I after the accident really started praying, “God, will (you) let us see you in this horrific time in our lives and in this deep place of sorrow?” When we went home the next day after the accident to gather some things up for the memorial service is when we found this piece of art that she left for us with her little six-petal flower, and when you turn the paper over, she had written, I love mommy, I love daddy and her name, but she had never written this word before, and it was the word “see.”

In Steven’s foreword, he says the working title of your book was Mary Beth vs. God. Is that how it’s been much of your life? Yes, that is a very appropriate working title. I am a work in progress to where God is really just showing me that I can completely rest in Him, that He is sovereign and He does have a plan for me. Sometimes it’s not a plan that we necessarily like.

How have your family members grieved the loss of Maria? It has been a little over two years now, and I’m interviewing with you today as I’m in China and I’m sitting in a place called Maria’s Big House of Hope. It is a special-needs orphanage, a foundation that Steve and I founded. We help about 150 special-needs orphans and are able to provide care, and we also have a floor for severe special-needs orphans who will probably never be adopted. We dedicated that one year ago this summer, and it was a year after Maria left, and that has been a huge source of healing for us, turning our grief into something that can be used to help. …

I believe the enemy comes to destroy, and I will not understand all of the reasons why it had to be this way or what God’s plan is because it doesn’t feel like a good plan at all, but I do believe that when this is all said and done and we can see the whole picture that it will be unbelievable what was built from what happened to our family.

You’ve had a battle with depression through the years. What is that like? I have probably struggled with depression since my teen years and didn’t even talk about it until I adopted our second child (Stevey Joy) and I did an interview. It was that place of, “If I’m going to do this, then I’m going to be authentic and open, and I can’t put the smile on my face and pretend.” With God, I’m going to win it, and I just want to be authentic about the fact that I know that I know that I know that He’s going to be showing me more about Himself through it, but I also know that there are professionals that can help me. If there’s been a battle, and it’s ongoing, then it’s better to praise God. Obviously when I lost my daughter, it knocked it back a few hundred miles, and we still have these deep places of sadness, and I, of course, being more prone to the depression, tend to kind of feel a little bit deeper. But God always meets me.

On a lighter note, you tell on yourself in this book, some embarrassing stories? God has a way of making us not take ourselves so seriously. I thought, well, I should put something funny in there because we have so many funny stories we could tell on ourselves.