Conflict is a fact of church life, and church bookstores may find themselves at the center--either because of a disputed book they carry or resources members are looking for to support their side of a difference with others.

But resolving conflict doesn't necessarily mean that the differing parties have to come to agreement, according to John H. Beck. Ordained with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Beck has just completed a three-year study of congregational conflict, and observed that the Matthew 18 outline for reconciliation is often misunderstood.

The passage is most often translated as "if two of you agree," which implies coming to an agreement, he said, as the English word has a flat meaning. "But the Greek word is the one for symphony," he said. "If you think about what it means to make a symphony-and the congregations I've worked with sometimes spend 20 minutes on this point-a symphony uses different instruments, different sounds, different harmonies and some dissonance."

As part of his study, Beck looked at three common approaches to conflict in church-the biblical one of "taking responsibility, whether you are the wounded or the wounder," another that "deals with dynamics and anxiety" and a third that "stresses being clear about planning and change.

"The first method proved to be the most influential," he said. "It literally opens up people's eyes, the idea that Jesus didn't discriminate. Whether you're the one who's hurt or the one who caused the hurt, you have to focus on reconciliation."

Source: The Oregonian

Read more at http://www.oregonlive.com/living/index.ssf/2009/08/church_conflict_can_be_managed.html.