Emerson Eggerichs follows his best-selling marriage title with similar principles for parents and children
People have been asking Emerson Eggerichs to write a book about love and respect between parents and children following the success of 2004’s Love & Respect (Thomas Nelson). However, Eggerichs wanted his own children to contribute to such a book, so he waited several years.
Striking a chord with readers, marriage title Love & Respect, sold 1.5 million copies and garnered several awards. As a counselor and pastor, Eggerichs has studied the family dynamic for 30 years. As founders of Love and Respect Ministries, he and his wife, Sarah, conduct relationship conferences across the country.
This month Thomas Nelson releases Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire, the Love Children Need, which includes input from his children, now in their 30s, and his wife. Although the content is new, the approach is similar to that of his marriage book. The book’s three parts are: The Family Crazy Cycle, The Family Energizing Cycle and The Family Rewarded Cycle.
Eggerichs asserts that children need love, and parents need respect. Yet often, he writes, “an unloved child reacts negatively in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent” and “a disrespected parent reacts negatively in a way that feels unloving to the child.” To stop this Family Crazy Cycle, he teaches parents to slow down, decode the situation and diffuse the tension.
This sets the stage for the Family Energizing Cycle in which “a parent’s love motivates a child’s respect and a child’s respect motivates a parent’s love.” Eggerichs offers an acronym for energizing the family: GUIDES—Give, Understand, Instruct, Discipline, Encourage, Supplicate.
The result can be the Family Rewarded Cycle in which parents give love regardless of the children’s respect and vice-versa. Eggerichs stresses the importance of parents leaning on God, loving children unconditionally and seeking to leave a legacy of love.
Several times in the book Eggerichs says that parenting is for adults only.
“We must bring our maturity to bear on the daily skirmishes in the family,” he writes. “In the heat of the battle, we must remain cool, calm, and collected.”
He is transparent about the ups and downs in his own parenting and includes his children’s honest reflections about their upbringing. He emphasizes there is no perfect family, but believes there is hope for those who want to parent God’s way. He gives special encouragement to parents with children who are rebelling, reminding them to focus on the process and trust God for the results.
For more information, contact Thomas Nelson at 800-251-4000, or visit www.thomasnelson.com.